People Don’t Want To Change

That’s right, most people do not want to change. They may want what they think that change may bring them. Yet we don’t do the things we need to do to change until our backs are against the wall. It’s not until we have no other alternatives that we actually have the courage… the impetus… the fortitude to actually make a change.

I had long thought that there must be something wrong with me. Surely I must be defective in some way because it seemed as though everyone else got it. Their lives, at least from outward appearances, were working.  I knew that mine was not, as I was struggling in all areas of my life. Even the one area that was going well, my career, was not appearing to me as being successful. My drinking had reached a point where I could no longer control it and eventually I reached a point where my back was against the wall.

Awakening at 6 am from another all night bender, lying on my hallway floor, soaked in my own stuff (literally and figuratively) I had maneuvered myself to a point whereby I had only two choices; live or die. I had given up. The fight in me had evaporated. A year and a half of amazing counseling, meetings, therapy and education had led me to this place whereby I finally had to stop playing around at this sobriety thing and make a choice. I had no idea of how to continue living, yet was afraid of dying… and that is what saved me. It freed me. My back was against the wall. There was no choice but to take action and actually change. I had to be all in.

Looking back now over the years I’ve spent learning behavioral science and helping people get out of their own way, I can clearly see that I was not part of a minority of misfits. Most people really don’t want to change. We get comfortable in our known world. We think the same thoughts everyday. We look at the same things in the same ways… everyday. We take the same actions day in and day out. We may have dreams of something better. We may even seek out coaches, consultants and teachers… enthralled and intoxicated by their advice. Yet, we don’t take the required action in order to implement what it is they are teaching us. That would require us to change.  

What must change in your business, health, relationship, career etc., in order for them to be at their best?

How far must your business, health, relationship, career etc., degrade to before you will finally make the changes?

When are you actually going to change rather than merely being enchanted by the dream? 

Most of us sit around waiting for a rescue. We hope and pray for a miracle. We blame people, places and things outside of ourselves for our plight. We abdicate responsibility for the change, placing it on team members, family and friends… our coaches and advisors. We seek out tips, tricks and hacks, looking for that miracle quick fix. All the while our situation continues to wither, and the more it does, it leaves us with fewer and fewer options to right the ship. How bad does it have to be before you make the changes necessary for success?

You are the change agent of your own life. You have to do the work and make the necessary changes. You don’t have to do it alone. There are many talented people who will gladly help you. But if you are not leading the change, then who is?

You don’t have to wait for a miracle. You are the miracle!

Summon the courage to take decisive action in those areas you know need to change. It’s not easy as we are the result of all of the decisions and actions we have taken to this point. Changing them can affect not only our own lives, also of those around us. In business, it usually means taking a hard look and making changes in your products, profit, people and processes. In your health, it usually means facing your habits in the areas of nutrition, movement and emotions. In relationships, it means facing your part in the problem and changing yourself and how you show up for others.

Don’t wait until your back is against the wall. Take ownership of your change, get past your own fears and start doing the work necessary for those changes to occur.